Bean (bean) wrote,

"Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" Script (Act 1)

So after watching this amazing show several times today and not being able to find they lyrics to the song I decided to just transpose the script myslef...

If you haven't watched it, go to http://www.drhorrible.com and watch it!



anyway, here's Act 1. I'll do the rest later this week when they go up.


ACT 1:

Dr. Horrible:
Ah hahahaha. Ah ha haaaa. A haaaa.

Dr. Horrible:
So that’s you know… coming along. I’m working with a vocal coach. Strengthening the “ahhaa”. A lot of guys ignore the laugh and that’s about standards. I mean, if you’re going to get into the Evil League of Evil you HAVE to have a memorable laugh. I mean do you think Bad Horse didn’t work on his whinny? His terrible… Death… whinny.



Dr. Horrible:
No response, BTW from the League yet but my application is strong this year. A letter of condemnation from the deputy mayor. That’s gotta have some weight, so, fingers crossed.

Dr. Horrible:
EMAILS! 2sly4you writes: “hey genius” wow. Sarcasm. That’s ORIGINAL. “Where are the gold bars you were supposed to pull out of that bank vault with your trans-matter ray? Obviously it failed or it would be in the papers.”

Dr. Horrible:
Well no, there not going to say anything in the press. But BEHOLD. Transported from there to here.

Dr. Horrible:
The molecules tend to shift in the trans-matter… um… event, but, they were transported IN BAR FORM and they clearly were… (and by the way it’s not about making money. It’s about TAKING money. Destroying the status-quo because the “status” is NOT “quo”. The world is a mess and I just need to RULE it.) I’m gonna… that smells like cumin.

Dr. Horrible:
So, Trans-matter is 75% AND more importantly the Freeze-Ray is almost up. This is the one. Stops time. Freeze-ray. Tell your friends.

Dr. Horrible:
We have... OH! Here’s one from our good friend Johnny Snow. “Dr. Horrible. I see you are once again afraid to do battle with your nemesis. I waited at Dooley Park for 45 minutes.”

Dr. Horrible:
Ok, DUDE you’re NOT my nemesis. My nemesis is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer, Corporate TOOL. He dislocated my shoulder… Again… last week.

Dr. Horrible:
LOOK! I’m just trying to change the world, OK? I don’t have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka. Besides, there’s kids in that park, so…

Dr. Horrible:
Here’s one from DeadNotSleeping. “Long time watcher, first time writing.” Blah blah blah blah… “You always say on your blog that you will ‘show her the way, show her you are a true villain’. Who is ‘her’ and does she even know that you’re” …

*SONG*

Dr. Horrible:
Laundry day
See you there
Under things
Tumbling
Wanna say
“love your hair”
Here I go
Mumbling

With my Freeze-Ray I will STOP the world
With my Freeze-Ray I will find the time to find the words

Tell you how
How you make
Make me feel
What’s the phrase?
Like a fool
Kinda sick
Special needs
Any ways

With my Freeze-Ray I will STOP the pain
It’s not a death-ray or an Ice-beam that’s all Johnny Snow

I just think you need time to know
That I’m the guy to make it real
The feelings you don’t dare to feel
I’ll bend the world to our will
And we’ll make time stand still

That’s the plan
Rule the world
You and me
Anyday

Dr. Horrible:
Love your hair

Penny:
“what?”

Dr. Horrible:
no… I…I… I love the air…

Anyway

With my Freeze-ray I will stop…

*SONG*

Moist:
Hey doc.

Dr. Horrible:
Moist! My evil, moisture buddy. What’s going on?

Moist:
Life of crime. Got your mail

Dr. Horrible:
Hey, didn’t you ahh. Didn’t you go on a date last night? Conflict Diamond told me you were doubling with Bait’N’Switch.

Moist:
Yeah, Ahhh..

Dr. Horrible:
Yeah?

Moist:
It was all right. I kinda thought I was supposed to end up with Bait, but…

Dr. Horrible:
I hear ya. I saw Penny today.

Moist:
You talk to her?

Dr. Horrible:
So close. I’m just a few weeks away from a real, audible, connection. I’m… I’m gonna ask… Oh my god!

Moist:
Is that from the league?

Dr. Horrible:
It’s from HIM! That’s his seal isn’t it?!?

Moist:
The leader? The… Oh my god!

Dr. Horrible:
I got a letter from Bad Horse

Moist:
That’s so hardcore. Bad Horse is legend. He rules the league with iron hoof. Are you sure you wanna…?

*SONG*

Bad Horse Singers:
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
He rides across the nation
The thoroughbred of sin
He got the application that you just sent in
It needs evaluation, so let the games begin
A heinous crime, a show of force,
(A murder would be nice of course)

Bad Horse
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
He’s bad
The Evil League of Evil
Is watching so beware
The grade that you receive will be your last
We swear
So make the Bad Horse gleeful
Or he’ll make you his mare
You’re saddled up
There’s no recourse
It’s ‘High-ho silver’
Signed: Bad Horse

*SONG*

Moist:
It’s not a “NO”…

Dr. Horrible:
Are you kidding? This is great! I’m about to pull a major heist. You know the Wonderflonium that I need for the Freeze-Ray? It’s being transported tomorrow.

Moist:
Armored car?

Dr. Horrible:
Courier van. Candy from a baby.

Moist:
You need anything dampened or made soggy or…?

Dr. Horrible:
Thanks, but… the League is watching. I gotta go this alone.

*SONG*

Penny:
Will you lend a caring hand
To shelter those who need it?
Only have to sign your name
Don’t even have to read it
Would you help?
No? How bout you?

Will you lend a caring hand?

*SONG*

Dr. Horrible:
ARGHHH!

Penny:
Oh. Oh.

Dr. Horrible:
Argh. Ah. Hah. What?

Penny:
I was wondering if I could just… Hey, I know you!

Dr. Horrible:
Hello. You know me? Cool. I mean. Yeah, you do. Do you?

Penny:
From the laundry mat

Dr. Horrible:
Wednesdays and Saturdays except twice last month, you skipped the weekend. Or, if that was you. It coulda been someone else, I mean, I’ve SEEN you. Billy is my name.

Penny:
I’m Penny. What are you doing?

Dr. Horrible:
I’m texting. It’s very important or I would stop. What are you doing?

Penny:
Actually I’m out here volunteering for the Caring Hands Homeless Shelter. Can you spare a minute?

Dr. Horrible:
Umm… Ok, go.

Penny:
Ok, we’re hoping to open up a new location soon, expand our efforts. There’s this great building nearby that the city is just going to demolish and turn into a parking lot, but if we get enough signatures…

Dr. Horrible:
Signatures? *pfft*

Penny:
Yeah.

Dr. Horrible:
I’m sorry, go on.

Penny:
I was saying um, maybe we could get the city to donate the building to our cause. We would be able to provide 250 new beds, get people off the streets and into job training so they could… buy rocket packs and go to the moon and become… florists… You’re not really interested in the homeless are you?

Dr. Horrible:
No, I am. But they’re a symptom. You’re treating a symptom and the disease rages on, consumes the human race. The fish rots from the head as they say. So my thinking is why not cut off the head

Penny:
of the human race?

Dr. Horrible:
it’s not a perfect metaphor… but I’m talking about an overhaul of the system. Putting the power in… DIFFERENT… hands.

Penny:
I’m all for that… This petition is about the building…

Dr. Horrible:
I’d love to sign it.

Penny:
thank you.

Dr. Horrible:
Sorry I… I come on strong.

Penny:
but you signed

Dr. Horrible:
Wouldn’t want to turn my back on a fellow laundry person…

Penny:
Well if WE can’t stick together I don’t… I’ll probably see you there.

Dr. Horrible:
No, I will. I’ll…

Dr. Horrible:
She talked to me. Why did she talk to me NOW? Maybe I should…

*SONG*

Dr. Horrible:
A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do
Don’t plan the plan if you can’t follow through
All that matters is taking matters into your own hands
Soon I’ll control everything
My wish is your command

Captain Hammer:
Stand back everyone
Nothin’ here to see
Just imminent danger
And in the middle of it me
Yes Captain Hammer’s here
Hair blowing in the breeze
The day needs my saving expertise

A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do
Seems destiny ends with me saving you
The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death
So I’ll give you a second to catch your breath

*SONG*

Dr. Horrible:
YOU IDIOT!

Captain Hammer:
Dr. Horrible. I should have known you were behind this.

Dr. Horrible:
You almost killed her

Captain Hammer:
I remember it differently.

Dr. Horrible:
Is she? *urgh*

Captain Hammer:
Its curtains for you Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.

*SONG*

Penny:
Thank you Hammer Man, I don’t think I can
Explain how important it was that you stop the van
I would be splattered; I’d be crushed under debris
Thank you sir for saving me

Captain Hammer:
Don’t worry about it.

A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Penny:
(You came from above)

Dr. Horrible:
(Are you kidding?)

Captain Hammer:
Seems destiny ends with me saving you

Dr. Horrible:
(What heist were you watching?)

Penny:
(I wonder what you’re captain of)

Dr. Horrible:
(Stop looking at her like that)

Captain Hammer:
When you’re the best you can’t rest, what’s the use?

Dr. Horrible:
(Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?)

Penny:
(My heart is beating like a drum)

Captain Hammer:
There’s ass needs kicking. Some ticking bomb to diffuse.

Penny:
(Must… must be in shock)

Dr. Horrible:
(I stopped the van. The remote control was in my hand)

Captain Hammer:
The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death

Penny:
(Assuming I’m not loving you to death)

Dr. Horrible:
(Whatever)

Captain Hammer:
So please give me a sec to catch my breath

Penny:
So please give me a sec to catch my breath

*SONG*

Dr. Horrible:
Balls.
Tags: dr. horrible sing along blog lyrics scri
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